Darth Vader Toaster Toasts A Little On The Dark Side

April 11, 2014


This is a $45 Darth Vader Toaster sold by Big Bad Toy Store. Just so we’re clear, there is nothing big or bad about a Darth Vader toaster. Also, a toaster is NOT a toy. Trust me: I learned that the hard way and I have the third degree burns to prove it! Per the product site:

“Please Note: Depending on the type of bread used and the duration of toasting, your toast may differ from what is pictured in the promotional material above. The toast pictured above was produced by a trained professional. It is important to remember that toast is like a snowflake, each piece is unique and beautiful in it’s own way.”

Huh? That toast was produced by a trained professional what? If the toaster needs to be operated by a trained professional, then it should not be sold to the general public. Also, toast is not like a snowflake — toast is like toast. There are three different types of toast: bread, perfect, and burnt. So I have to ask: are you people on drugs? Because I will have whatever your copywriter is having.

Available now HERE.

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