IAMFATTERTHANYOU.COM

Knock-knock! Who’s tharrrrrrrrrrrrr? The Pirate Skull Door Knocker — now gimme all your booty! Man, I could do that ALL DAY. This Pirate Skull Door Knocker would be perfect for the door of the captain’s quarters! Orrrrr the home of a land lubber who can’t handle the motion of the ocean. When I was a grog swilling foul smelling pirate, I’d get all wonky in the stomach region. NOT because of the rum. And even if it was, I would never admit it to you! But for real, the land sucks. There’s no “poop deck” or “Walk the plank!” kinda business happening. And if you stab someone with your plastic cutlass screaming “Mutiny!”, you spend the night in the drunk tank. What the heck ever happened to pirate law, anyway?
Available now HERE for $25.
words by Brittany High