December 10, 2009
I made the mistake of attending Stereosonic and expecting not to come out with beef. Meet the Festival Bro.
Marching through the crowd, clapping and whistling, he knocked my overpriced drink out of my hand only to excuse himself by snarling “Sowwy Bruvvah”. He took off in his sweat faded singlet and ratty tracksuit pants licking his lips at passing ladies whilst leaving a visible stench in his wake. The meathead was a mess, pulling more faces than Jim Carrey on crack, in fact I’ll lay money he had spent half an hour with his fucking ducklips on a pipe. This photo is the result of him spending a good deal of time negotiating a wheelie bin into a podium for him to perform his stupid monkey dance on.
I couldn’t understand how he came to exist. The only conclusion I could come up with is if a turd and a rancid piece of steak miraculously managed to pro-create and decided not to abort.